One
of the many reasons I am so excited to become a parent, is because I
had such great parents myself. My mom and dad are two incredible people
who really " did it right" when it comes to raising kids ( which is why
I'm so great... and humble....) When you begin considering parenting you
start thinking about your own childhood. You ask yourself, " how would I
do it differently from my mom and dad?" Truthfully, I wouldn't change
anything. My parents laid out an awesome blue print for me as a parent.
They should write a book, or a blog, or a pamphlet. Something. My
childhood was overflowing with happiness, and fun and make believe and
laughter. One of the most difficult things for me in not having my own
child, besides my own longing, is knowing how great my parents will be
as grandparents and not being able to give them that joy. My parents
were MADE to spoil grandchildren. It's really true. My father will erect
ferris wheels, buy ponies, shut down Disney World, the whole nine
yards. My mom will bake cookies, ( which by the way, her cookies are
just so good. It's wrong really. I never eat them, I work in health and
fitness, but I've been told. That's a lie. I always eat them. ALWAYS.)
play hide and seek and read books until she loses her voice. They're
going to be the best " Gigi and Poppy" ever. They might even wear the
cute little sweatshirts that say " Gigi" and "Poppy" in plaid lettering.
You know what I'm talking about. They sell them at a kiosk in the mall.
They probably won't wear those. My parents are too cute and trendy and
look 35 years old....
Things my mother did right:
She helped me fall in love with reading. I spent
most of my early childhood in the Collinsville Public Library. We didn't
have much money and my mom was great at finding things to do that
didn't cost much, if anything at all. Every week, usually Monday, we
loaded into the blue mini van and made the drive to the library. I had
an orange plastic crate, yes crate, that I filled with all the books I
wanted. Mom would patiently walk down each aisle of the children's
section reading me every title of each book that I could get my grubby
little fingers on. ( I wasn't really grubby, my mom bathed me.) We would
sometimes sit in the over sized chairs and she would read a few to me
while I snuggled up with her. She always let me ask questions and she
always let ME turn the page. That's a big deal when you're little. Mom
is such a great " out loud reader". It must be the teacher in her.
She let me be creative. I was always in costumes
when I was a little girl. I loved wear slips and tutu's over my regular
clothes, because you never know when you'll need to bust out a dance
routine in the middle of your living room... or Reasor's. Mom always
encouraged my writing. I use to spend hours on my Gramps' computer
typing stories up and then illustrating them. She read them all. Mom
still encourages me to write. She still wants me to write a novel, and I
think I will and I'll dedicate it to her. She let us get messy and play
games. Once she let my sister and I make a giant spider web out of yarn
in our " toy room". I just about died from the joy of it. It's the
little things. She took us to the Nutcracker ballet when I was 6. We had
the cheapest seats, nose bleed. She kept her arms across my body the
entire time because we were up high and at an angle and I kept leaning
forward with my binoculars. I wore a black velvet dress and fancy patent
leather shoes and I was sure we were filthy rich because we were at the
ballet and mom had on lipstick and looked beautiful. I remember
thinking just that. I had no idea that I was in the cheap seats. A
lesson in perspective. the " cheap seats" are only cheap if you let them
be. I had the time of my life. Best seats in the house.
She was cool because she didn't try to be cool.
I've always genuinely liked my parents. My mom probably just laughed out
loud at that sentence because when I was a teenager I didn't always
portray that well with her, but I really did. I was never embarrassed of
them. I was proud of them and I still am. My mom was cool but not " I
wear the same clothes as my teenage daughter and let kids drink at my
house" cool. She was pretty and fun and awesome but without trying too
hard. I love being with my mom. We go to lunch, we shop, we see movies.
She comes to work out at Healthzone, where I work out and people say "
Hey is that lady who looks just like you, your mom?" To which I always
reply, " Well I look just like her. She was here first.. and yes she is"
Things my dad did right:
He did girl things with me. I never felt like my
dad wished he had a boy. He embraced his feminine side with boldness. We
would do interpretive dance in the living room where moves such as "
the ceiling fan", " the airplane" and just general balletic genius were
born. He would play tea party and barbies with us. He filled up the
jacuzzi to the brim with bubbles and plop my sister and I in and would
then judge our " who can style the best outfit out if bubbles?" contest.
He learned to fix our hair. ( His pony tails were tight. not tight like
cool, tight like we looked like we had face lifts....
He always made time for me. My dad was a busy man.
Still is. He runs a successful company, serves in his church, models for
GQ ( he'll love that). My dad was never too busy for me. He would pick
me up from school to go to lunch. He would let me go to work with him
and use his signature stamp to "sign off " on documents, aka: He would
let me stamp his name on a thousand pieces of blank paper and pretend I
was helping him do work. That was just last week actually. Kidding. He
took me on my first airplane ride at 6. ( 6 was a big year for me
people. the Nutcracker AND a plane ride.) We flew to Little Rock for a
one day business trip and I ate peanuts and drank Coke and talked the
ear off of the man next to me. He happened to work for a little company
called American Girl, you may have heard of it, and I loved me some
American Girl. he took me just because he wanted to spend time with me
and take me on a plane ride. That's legit. He still meets me for " lunch
dates" even though I'm a grown up and I still love it.
He loved me even when I was stupid. It takes a lot
to get my dad mad. You can screw up pretty bad and he'll forgive you.
He won't bring it up or hold it over your head. he doesn't make you feel
stupid even though you acted stupid. He taught me to forgive the way
God forgives. It's like it never happened. Doesn't mean there aren't
consequences here on earth, doesn't mean you get a free pass, but in the
end, when he said "it's forgiven"... he meant it. He had to extend
pardon to me often. My sister and I were about as opposite as two people
could be. She was born a forty year old puritan and I was born looking
for the loop holes. I admire my sister's moral compass. It's made of
titanium. Mine has improved greatly but daddy had to wear out the words "
i forgive you" with me.
My parents drove me around listening to NSYNC and Hanson. They took
me to sleepovers, carted my friends around to church events and served
as sponsors at lock outs and church camp. They took me to Mexico my
senior year and let me bring two friends. They took Kindal and I to
Disney World and spoiled us rotten. They have blessed us with new cars,
they have stayed up all night helping us move in, move out, paint,
decorate, organize garage sales and so much more. When I was a nanny for
my first full time family, they invested in the lives of the children I
was caring for. We went to Merritt's at least once a week for "
pupcakes" as the sweet baby girl who stole my heart called them. We went
to movies and the zoo. We met for lunch and my parents always bought
them Christmas and Birthday gifts. We I think of my parents becoming
grandparents, it makes me cry. It brings me so much joy. I know my kids
will learn from them, laugh with them and probably get a book crate.
I like writing out my thoughts to my kids. You should do it too.
When you do get pregnant, or adopt, or both, you'll be glad you did.
They can read it and see how much you wanted them.
To my baby(ies)
Hold on to your pants, or diapers, because when you I get to you,
you will get your pants, or diapers spoiled off by your Gigi and Poppy.
You'll play games, and bake cookies and dance and laugh and go see the
movie in 3D because Poppy's paying and mommy isn't giving up her right
arm for plastic glasses. We'll sit on their back porch and watch the
nice delivery men set up the ferris wheel and then we'll eat pupcakes
from Merritt's and take turns riding it and I'll tell you all about when
I was little and about how I met your daddy and we fell in love and got
married and started trying to find you. It'll be good. You just wait.
Ask Poppy for anything, you'll get it. Gigi too, and if they ever take
you to incredible pizza, don't hide from Gigi when she calls for you.
She gets really mad and you'll get a spanking. I know. There was an
incident at Showbiz pizza when I was little. It didn't end well for me
and she doesn't think it's funny. Like at all.
We Press On,
LB
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